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Chris' Blog

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STUPID

I've come to the conclusion that everyone on this earth is dumb and stupid.

Customer service is crap. Never get into this junk. You get paid crap for taking crap from other people because the service your company provides is crap.

People never listen. It's you stupid people who think you're sooooo right, even though you're calling ME for support!!! What the hell is wrong with you all? JUST LISTEN and SHUT UP!

People who are white collar workers are the dumbest, most spoiled people of all. Sure, you can study useless crap and graduate with honours, but when it comes to common sense and LISTENING to instruction, it goes in one ear and out the other. No sense whatsoever. It goes as such:

* Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
* Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
* Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
* Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
* Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."

Pause.

* Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
* Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
* Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
* Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
* Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
* Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Oh."
* Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
* Customer: "Why?"
* Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
* Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
* Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top."
* Customer: "Ok."

I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer.

* Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'."

Pause.

* Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."

Yeah, they're that dumb. You stupid people don't deserve a computer. Quit polluting my internet with your drivel.

By the way.... if you're running a business off a residential service, get used to service OUTAGES and be prepared with a BACKUP if your work is so damned important. Stupid day traders and home business morons. How the hell does your business survive??? If you're really losing "$10,000 an hour" because we need to do system upgrades, invest in a backup system. Like $10 a month for dialup access.

Hey, I know. Why don't you buy a computer and have no idea how to use it! Even better, let some PFY sell you some crap you don't use. Like a router (does it say rooter? No. Pronunciation is the key! Use that university diploma for something!!). If I ask you if you have more than one computer, admit it if you do. If I ask if you have a router, just TELL ME! It makes everything go so much more smoother if you just do what I tell you and stop asking stupid questions.

192.168.x.x = router
169.254.x.x = your PC is fubar'd. If I tell you our service is working fine, it's because it IS, not because I'm lying to you.

I only lie to you if it's a stupidly easy fix (like taking the time to reboot your modem as the automated system tells you to do)
you say "Sorry I bothered you"
I say "No bother at all" (I really mean "You're such an idiot and because you're a customer, I can't tell you what a complete moron you are.)
Yes it's a bother. You just wasted 3 minutes of my time where I could be helping people who have an actual problem.

Wow... that was long enough for internet.... Now for television!!!

1. I will ask you to get behind your TV set and change wiring around.
2. No, I will not stay on the line while you do that. I don't want to hear you grunt and groan
3. Buy a cordless phone. (this is especially true for anyone who subscribes to the Internet)
4. Nobody likes monkey in the middle. See #3 again.
5. Check your connections. Yes they will loosen on their own
6. Splitters. Just admit you use them and bypass them too. We hook up the extra outlets because we know what we're doing.
7. If your audio is different than the program you're watching, look up in your TV manual what SAP is.
8. If one TV is off and the other works ok, check connections.
9. If you're getting more channels than what you're paying for and we put you back down to what you're supposed to get, don't complain. Upgrade to those channels. It's free. We won't charge to remove filters if you pay for the services.
10. No TV isn't the end of the world and it's definitely not the end of the world for your kids either. Do something else. Talk to you kids. Play with them. Take them outside and do something creative. TV is not your babysitter!!

If breathing wasn't an autonomous function, these people would be dead already.

The more I work at my job, the more misanthropic I become.

Peach Festival!

Ooooh boy! The Winona Peach Festival!! August 26-28th is this weekend. Best things are the food and the arts and crafts. Midway rides are too expensive there, but oh, the food!!
Back Bacon On-A-Bun, Coney Island 12" All Beef Frankfurter Topped With Chilli, Corn-On-The-Cob, Corned Beef On-Rye, Funnel Cakes, Gyros, Peach Sundaes, Peach Crepes, Ribs, Steak-On-A-Bun.... ohhhhh the food!!

I'll be there on Friday. Are you going?

Another nonsensical post!

One more of my incredibly over-rated posts!! It's been a few months since I posted something completely over-rated and inane. I'm falling behind other bloggers in terms of over-ratedness. Ugh. What drivel... Onto my worthless stinking pile of crap for your displeasure.

Now I hope everyone remembers I'm not racist. There's no way I can write this without being politically incorrect.... But for the sake of my never-used blog, I'll try to be nice.

This seems to be two black people wanting to act out a very horrible stereotype/cliché... the kind of stuff you'd see written by the Wayans brothers or in a Barbershop movie. Today I was called a "Cracker" for the very first time in my life.

Around 10:30pm while at work, I received a call from a customer who was complainging about danglers on his screen. The beginning of a prank call. I decided to play the fool...until I got tired of the peons.

Allegedly, this man is calling me up because his wife will be home in 20 minutes (which apparently she's always on time arriving) and he's going to have to explain why the danglers are on his screen. Fast forward 2 minutes to find out that what he means is that he has male genitalia just "dangling" on his screen. One minute later, said "wife" arrives and words were flying out of her mouth that would make Richard Pryor blush. She gets on the phone with attitude and severe homophobia. The word cracker flies from her mouth and I brush it off, but laughing while they're on mute.

Eight minutes have passed with multiple expletives flying and accusations of me being his gay lover and stuff of that sort. If I didn't have to worry about working again, I would've thtarted talking with a lithp. I ask for the name and address of the account holder. She spit out some token black girl name, but that took 4 minutes and then the account number (which wasn't a real account to begin with) and that took another 3 minutes. I got tired of them, and finally ended it. I told them we were going around in circles and because (even though she said she hates to repeat and won't repeat herself) she was giving me the same information five times over, I ended the call on them.

What morons. Knowing my luck, it'll end up heavily edited on the internet somewhere... So remember that you read this here first, people. I'll probably end up looking like an idiot on some "prank call of a white guy" site. Not that I have any problems with that. I'll probably become an underground hit, sell out and go mainstream, then fade away to nothingness.

Ain't life grand?

The Saga is complete!

Went out last night with Donna and my mom to see Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Sith..... Opening Night!!!! Very awesome! Much better than Episodes I and II and I would even dare to say better than Return of the Jedi!! This is an incredible movie! All the loose ends are pretty much all tied up. This is how everything falls into place. Simply awesome!!

...

I'm surprised I am able to do this... I just found out that my grandmother on my mom's side has passed away. Betty McCabe... or as us grandkids call her, Granny.... I miss her already. She was supposed to fly down here from Calgary in August and now, nothing.

I've never lost anyone so close to me in my life before. When my grandfather passed away back in 1986, I hardly knew him.

I was out at school and came home around 9pm. I was walking into our apartment when Donna called me into the bedroom. There was something she had to tell me by the tone in her voice. I had no idea what was to come. She just sat me down and told me that my Granny had passed away. I wasn't able to take my coat off, I was in a state of shock. Sure, my grandmother went into surgery for a heart valve problem, but it was supposed to be routine. From what I know so far, her kidneys and liver started shutting down while she was in recovery.

Donna said she wasn't sure how to tell me, so she was just honest with me. She knows me better than she thinks. I'd rather her tell me that way.

Just from what I know, she passed away at 7:30pm today. She's going to be cremated and her ashes will be brought back to Ontario from Calgary and buried with my grandfather's ashes, under what we call "The Grampa Tree".

Granny, I miss you so much. Thank you for the great, happy memories you've left.